The Adoption Experience: It’s Like Growing Up

Many of you may know plenty on the intricacies of the adoption process but did you ever have the whole picture of just how is the adoption going to affect and transform you, your family and the adopted child during a lifetime? We are going to discuss in detail just how much experiencing adoption during one’s lifetime is coming of age. We will be covering the aspects of being introduced, enjoying the honeymoon and then going through the stages of infancy, childhood, adolescence and finally adulthood. Hopefully, after reading this article, you are going to realize the adoption journey is nothing to be afraid of but something you will look forward to.

You may think the adoption experience starts once the adopted child comes at home. That is only part of the story. The first step is the introduction and the arrangements. The parents begin the process way in advance, looking for the right child, browsing through photos, being interviewed. Then the day comes when all is agreed upon, the last adoption forms have been signed and it is time to bring the child home. While children will be excited of the new world ahead, they have no idea yet of how completely their life will change.

Once home, the most enjoyable part of the journey, the honeymoon takes place. The entire family is full of excitement, gifts are shared, pictures are taken and rooms are being rearranged. The miracle child has arrived and at least for a while nobody thinks of what adoption meant anymore and how is the family going to deal with it in the long run.

After a while, infancy’s challenges start to creep in. The first steps a family takes here will be the foundation for a successful adoption experience. Instead of building up lies and cover-ups one should be ready to deal with the adoption realities both towards oneself and the others.

While everybody would like to be an infant for the rest of their life we do grow up and move into childhood. The once baby has to go out into the world, make friends, meet people and go to school. Simple discussions about adoption may start to trickle in. Questions from guests and other kids or people will start coming in. The biological facts of the child not resembling the parents will be noticed and enquired about.

Past the rocky road of childhood comes adolescence. The child himself becomes inquisitive with his own identity taking form right in front of your eyes. It is time for serious adoption discussions and for some past and present clarifications. The once little bird will be ready to fly out soon and the adoption string better be cut before leaving home.

Adulthood is where most of the adoption journey will take place and its success will be greatly impacted by all the stages before it. Now birthparents or other blood relatives may come into the child’s life and a whole unknown world will open up. Pleasant and unpleasant findings or stories may be revealed, old anguishes for both the adopting parents and child may resurface. New children may come into the family and the adoption word will always be there to stay and remind everybody of past times.

As you can see the adoption experience impacts every single member of the family in more than one way. All have to eventually grow up and out of it, as painful as it may be, and enjoy it for what it is: bringing people together in understanding, building lifetime commitments and ultimately spreading love and beauty in one’s life.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Adoptions


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