As the push to obtain legal status for gay marriage forges ahead, adoption will be the next hurdle. An adoption rights battle has been raging in the UK of late. Similar scenarios will likely unfold in N. American jurisdictions in the not-too-distant future.

The battle in the UK centers around the provisions of the new new Equality Act. The Act bans discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. It seems though the Catholic church believes that when it comes to the adoption of children by gay couples, anti-discrimination laws shouldn’t apply to Catholic adoption agencies.

Catholic authorities in the UK have been trying to negotiate a loophole that would enable them to refuse gay couples who are seeking to adopt. Cardinal Murphy-O’Connor has added fuel to the fire by describing the extension of adoption rights to gays as “discrimination against Catholics”.

How can equality mandated by a democratic Parliament be viewed as discrimination against Catholics? Equality is equality - period. If the government grants an exception to Catholics, allowing them to discriminate in the case of gay couples, it will open up a can of worms. Any group can then claim that they too can’t abide by anti-discrimination laws for any one of a number of reasons.

Catholic adoption agencies in the UK carry out public welfare functions for which service they receive public monies. They only deal with about 4% of adoptions in the UK, but handle a third of all adoptions involving children who are considered “difficult to place”.

Cardinal Murphy-O’Connor has threatened a shut down of Catholic agencies unless an exception is made for Catholics on the issue of gay adoptions.

If church agencies can’t work within civil society and accept across-the-board equality as mandated by a democratically elected government, there is the option to work under their own institutional auspices. I’m quite sure the Vatican has sufficiently deep pockets to fund Church endeavors. Catholics, or any other religious group for that matter, should not be allowed to dictate the terms when it comes to anti-discrimination laws in civil society at large.

The arguments against gay adoption put forward by the religious, go all the way from scriptural objections to the citing of the homosexual lifestyle as being “inappropriate” for young children.

We have a lot of damaged children in our society. A minority of dysfunctional heterosexual families have created this mini-generation of the walking wounded, not gays. A young girl who has suffered abuse at the hands of a male, may arguably fare best in an environment with loving women for parents. The key to the care of adopted children surely, is the capacity to provide loving and consistent care. It isn’t acceptable to suggest that a prospective parent who shows these aptitudes and skills, should be barred from adopting on the basis of his or her sexual orientation.

Technorati Tags: adoption assistance, adoption, adoption help

If you are appalled at my tone of sarcasm I recommend that you remove those blinders that you have on. Once removed, you will be able to see things for what they really are. Take a minute for your eyes to adjust and I will explain myself thoroughly. I am not against the wealthy, the famous or the minute-men advocates. I am disgusted at the status of the current population. It should not require an endorsement from a celebrity to push us to help others and contribute positively to our fellow man.

Over the last few years all we seem to hear about are the celebrity adoptions from other countries. That certain couple, who has made a ongoing hoopla about adopting, is getting quite tiresome. What bothers me the most are the children who are suffering here. The children that are in your neighborhoods. The children that go to the same school as your children. The children that we pass by everyday and never take time to notice or see that they too may need some extra help. Our country has become hell-bent on taking care of other countries and their problems that we have forgotten our on. I have not noticed our orphanage’s having extra beds due to a foreign advocate taking a few children home.

It has been a in thing to do for quite some time to adopt infant girls from other countries. In certain areas of our world little girls are unwanted simply because they were born female. That is a concept beyond my realm of recognition. However this has not been the ongoing topic of the nightly news or put on every magazine in print.

My being disgruntled comes from the fact that people I know around me have adopted babies from other countries and have not once considered helping the little ones right around them. The only reason they adopted a child at all was because it was the latest fad going and they must be considered in that elite group. Adopting a child of any age is not in the same category as Chanel handbags and Bentley’s. It is accepting the responsibility of a human life.

Glamorizing such an important subject is offensive to me, and I probably should not fault the famous for utilizing their status to do charitable deeds. Should the blame fall on the realm of the media who fails to focus on the true meaning of the cause, or should the fault be within ourselves for allowing them to manipulate our own intentions.

Technorati Tags: adoption, adoption information

In 2005, The Spectator reported on a new campaign by the Russian government to increase adoption of its estimated 700,000 orphans. The campaign included national TV advertisements and a website with 180,000 children sorted by age, physical traits, hair and eye color and personality, such as sociable, lively, shy, and calm.

The world of unregulated adoption have long suffered from suspicion among the ordinary citizens of the Soviet nations. To quote the head of the Russian Education Ministry department for children’s rights and social welfare: ‘’We understand people need to pay money for translators, drivers, and lawyers. But for the average Russian who reads the newspapers, it looks like people are buying and selling babies.'’

In response, the United States Department of States has decided to fully implement the terms of the Hague Convention, which was first signed in 1994. This decision prompted a visit to Russia and Ukraine From September 25 to October 3, 2006 by a delegation headed by the Joint Council on International Children’s Services.

In the trip report, the Russian officials were ?pleased to hear that the Hague implementing regulations authorize America?s central authority to require parents? and agencies? compliance with the laws of Hague-ratified countries of origin.?

Requiring adoption agencies to be accredited by the government can be seen as one step to improve the credibility and therefore to stabilize the future status of adoption in Russia.

Technorati Tags: adoption, adoption services, adoption help

His legal name was Milan Kundich, and he was the most loving father a girl could ask for.

My mom left him on my fifth birthday. He came to visit me often. He was so good to me. Then my mom met another man within a very short time who I did not like the first time I saw him. I had no idea who he was, he could have been a repair man, a neighbor, but my gut instincts were so strong, as most children?s are, and I felt a danger about him. There was something that I picked up on that I immediately did not like. My mom married him, and I was cut off from seeing my natural father “Marlo” which is the name I knew him by.

Then, a devastating blow hit me when my mom?s second husband called me into their bedroom and said, “You can call me daddy now.” I was then told I could leave the room. I was just six years old, and that began a sadness and blow to me that remained with me my entire life.

I later found out that my second father pulled a gun on my natural father and threatened that he would kill him if he tried to see me. He?s also put a loaded gun to my mom’s head when she tried to leave him in 1985. She was petrified, and she never did leave even after decades of misery.

I remember being six years old, and my mom and her second husband took me to Queens, New York Surrogate Court, along with my little sister, who was only three at the time. We were in the Judge’s chambers, and I was legally adopted by mom?s second husband.

I felt my world shatter inside. All I wanted was to see my real father.

I was told so many lies growing up. Lies like, “If your father really cared about you he would come and see you.” Well how was he supposed to do that when he lost his parental rights?

I was told that he “never tried to strop the adoption” which was another huge lie that lowered my self worth tremendously on top of the new life of physical, mental and emotional abuse I received from my adoptive father.

Finally after twenty eight years of not seeing my natural father, I found him and went to see him in 1994. He met his grandchildren, my children, and he was as loving, gentle and kind as he always was.

I was subjected to what people call “parental alienation” from him by my mom and second father. They spoke horribly and unjustly about him to me all of my life. Their words pierced me to the core when they would say things like, “If your father really loved you he would have been here and supported you all of these years.”

When I went to see my natural father in 1994, I went for “closure.” I spoke with him several times, but then I backed away, moved, and did not contact him for a long time.

I specifically asked him many questions, and the biggest one was, “Why didn?t you show up to stop my adoption?” Well, he did show up. He was traveling from the Bronx into Manhattan when he hit a huge unexpected traffic delay that took hours to reach the court house. He arrived just as I was leaving the court house with my mom, sister and new adoptive father.

Just yesterday I woke up crying literally out of the blue. I was shown and given a realization in my sleep about how my natural father was railroaded. I have been trying to find him for the last several months, but when I woke up with such strong emotions out of the blue, I went on a frenzied search to find him.

I pulled out my original adoption papers and actually read them for the first time. It had me listed as a “Foster Child” which was a complete lie!

Years ago I asked someone why my second father would adopt me when I never felt he loved me and he was so horribly abusive. Her answer was, “It was for control.”

I actually called Queens Surrogate Court, gave them the file number and told them that I wanted the adoption reversed, it was a lie and never should have happened. The clerk let me know, “An adoption cannot be revoked. But what you can do is contact your biological father and he can adopt you.” He continued to inform me that, “Once a child becomes a legal adult you do not need your parent’s permission to be re-adopted by your biological parent.”

So my frenzied search to find my real father began early in the morning and lasted for about eleven hours. He was no where to be found. Then, an idea popped into my mind to check the California death records. And there, I saw my dad?s name, his accurate birth date, and his date of death.

I broke down sobbing uncontrollably at the final loss of my real father. I let my mother know that my adoption never should have been initiated to begin with. I never should have been adopted, and I suffered from traumatizing abuse from my adoptive father, abuse that is shared in a few of my books.

Less than a week ago, I registered a new book that is being released next year. It is called, “Adoption Shock: A Guide to Understanding and Forgiving.? (ISBN-13: 978-0-9795161-3-9, Rose Group)

Then, just four nights ago, in my sleep, I was given another book title for a new book also being released in 2008 called, “One More Goodbye.” (ISBN-13: 978-0-9795161-4-6, Rose Group)

If you are a parent reading this and you have a child who has a natural parent, please always allow your child the right to see their natural parent as long as there is not life threatening abuse.

If you have been adopted, and you knew your biological parent and want to see him or her, please know this is okay. If you have lingering questions ask them!

The truth always comes out in the end. I feel empowered to share that my legal adoption by my mom’s second husband was a travesty. It was all for their benefit. And yes, I do forgive them because they had no idea what they were doing at the time, and that there was a much better way. That better way is called “open communication with a child?s natural parent.”

I have one photo of me with my real father from 1994. it’s out, sitting on my book “Dear God, How Can I Finally Love Myself?” I will turn around all of the pain I have been through to help others with my books, seminars and speaking events. I felt it was time to share the truth about unwarranted adoptions, and I hope this will help anyone in any positive way.

? 2007 Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.

Technorati Tags: adoption, adoption services, adoption help

Arizona adoption lawyers assist people in various verification processes and paper work. Several issues are involved concerning welfare board that may require documented evidence of parents being able to look after the welfare of adopted child and reasons for opting for adoption. Arizona adoption lawyers are specialized professionals and ensure a smooth process of adoption.

As a part of adoption process they also help young pregnant women in selecting a family who wants to adopt a child as the mother may not be in a position to care for her child. Such adoption procedures require a different approach. The pregnant mother may opt to choose a family suitable for adoption. Then lawyers help in arranging a meeting or telephone conferences with the couple or sever all contacts with them according to their client’s decision. Parents who wish to adopt in this way may offer to care for birth plans too. Adoption lawyers step in to draw an agreement suiting individual needs, choosing between an open or closed adoption processes and help in securing medical, legal and living expenses. They also provide counseling and may agree to travel with the mother according to the situation and needs. All inquires and discussions are considered confidential and free consultation is provided in case a client is unsure which process to follow for adoption.

A number of adoption lawyers can be found online, classified according to different cities within the state of Arizona. These lawyers are attached to various adoption agencies and services, providing advice and support to clients who may like to adopt. Adoption lawyers may be contacted through telephone, email, or at their office address found on websites or can be visited personally. Fees may vary according to qualification and reputation of adoption lawyers.

Technorati Tags: adoption assistance, adoption, adoption help

Since adoption involves the rights and responsibilities of the child being adopted, it becomes a legal process. The law of this nation requires adoption to be done legally, with specific laws being set for every kind of adoption. There are different laws governing adoption from another country. Even within the U.S., the adoption laws vary in part or whole for different states and so does the legal procedure in each state. It is for this reason that it is important to seek the guidance of a good adoption lawyer. This not only helps keep the process hassle free, but also speeds up the adoption process.

Before selecting a lawyer for the adoption of a child in Atlanta, it is important to contact various attorneys. The idea is to find out the best lawyer possible. It will also give you an idea about how well you vibe with the lawyer, the role that the lawyer will have in the adoption process, the background of the lawyer and about any previous adoption cases that he has handled. Since the laws of adoption in Atlanta are different than those in other states, it is imperative to know whether the lawyer has handled adoption cases in Atlanta.

It is also important to know the lawyer?s billing process. Atlanta lawyers have a varying billing process. Some lawyers bill a client by the hour, others charge a flat fee.

Though there are many places to begin the search for a good adoption lawyer in Atlanta, such as the yellow pages and Internet, it is not easy to verify the credentials of these lawyers. A good place to start the search would be the various associations like the American Bar Association, National Bar Association, or the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. These organisations are headquartered in Washington, but have a good and complete list of adoption lawyers in each state.

Technorati Tags: adoption assistance, adoption, adoption help

Sound familiar? Congratulations, you have joined the thousands of hopeful adoptive parents that have faced the same struggle. Writing your Adoptive Family Profile is without a doubt one the most difficult things you will ever write, and unquestionable one of the most important. A well written and produced profile is the most important networking tool you will have, and will make or break the success of your adoption journey.

Your first step to writing a great adoption profile? Take a deep breath, and a step back. Your first step isn?t writing, but thinking. You need to consider what is truly important to you, and what makes your family unique. Keep in mind that although many PBPs (potential birth parents) will read your letter your goal shouldn?t be to appeal to each and every one of them, but to make your letter stand out to the RIGHT birthparents for your family. Just like you, they are unique in their hopes and desires as they search for a family, and just like you they have unique interests and concerns. When that special birthparent reads your letter you want her or him to envision their child growing up with you, and no one else but you.

If you are working with an agency, facilitator or attorney they will give you a set of recommendations for your profile. They all will differ in the length they like to see, what they want included and what not to include. Remember, every client will start out with the same basic guidelines,, it is your job to make sure your profile doesn?t look like the rest. You will hear well-meaning advice that will encourage you to follow a ?formula? for success- but don?t be tempted to water down your quirkiness, or to avoid taboo subjects. If you are a quirky, fun, Harley riding, outspoken and opinionated couple then there is a birthparent out there looking for someone just like you! The technical aspects of writing your letter are not unlike what you learned in college composition courses- research, outline, write, and edit.

Often your ?research? is one of the most difficult parts of writing your letter. Your research begins by grabbing your partner and thinking about the things that really make you unique, and the four or five main points you want to convey in the letter. A PBP will read 3-10 letters in a sitting, and as you can imagine they all start to run together. Most everyone lives in a great home in a nice community with good schools supported by a loving family in a loving marriage and is grateful for the chance to share it all with a child. You too? There is more to you than that, and your job is to tease it out. Think hard about four or five points you want to cover in your letter. What are the core values and interests you share? Some thoughts are spirituality, education, family, athletics, travel, work ethic or a strange sense of humor. Weave these core beliefs throughout your letter, and make them the foundation for your text.

By beginning your letter with an outline and a general idea of the key points you want to convey you can create a concise, memorable letter that shares the true essence of your family. You can expect to write 3-6 pages of text and be prepared to use 15-30 photographs in your finished profile. There is a fine balance between providing narrative on your life and interests and just rambling on and on, and you should be equally judicious in your choice of photos.

When writing your text remember that you are ?speaking? to a real person- and a real person that is in the midst of one of the most difficult times in his/her life. There is always much discussion about the ?do?s and don?ts? of writing styles, so let me address a few of those here:

DON’T write ?down? to a birthmother assuming she may not have the education you do. Just write as if you were speaking to a friend. You wouldn?t use jargon with your best friend, so keep the Thesaurus on the shelf and just write naturally.
DON’T make assumptions about what a birthparent is looking for in an adoptive family, or pretend to be someone you aren?t. Not rich or famous? That is just fine with most birth families. PBPs are as unique as you are, and a connection based on honesty and mutual desires will be a deep and lasting one.
DON’T hide religious convictions (or lack thereof), step-children, or anything else. How will she feel when she finally does learn of your omission?
DON’T list your family and cousins by name and age- I can tell you that she really doesn?t care. You do, but she doesn?t. Save that information for an album you can give her later on.
DON’T be afraid to share a few faults. One of my favorite profiles said: ?We know we should vacuum more often, and perhaps we order pizza more than we should, but we love to be outside with the kids and sometimes the chores just have to wait?. Don?t you want to get to know that couple? I do, and so did the birthfamily that chose them.
DON’T be afraid to call in the professionals. If you are just plain stuck or want personal attention in the process there are many services available to assist you. Find someone who shares your beliefs about adoption, and who isn?t trying to fit you into a mold to make their job easier.

DO tell stories as you write, don?t just run down a list of accomplishments. Especially when accompanied by photos these little vignettes are often the stars of the show. Capturing a scene or special moment creates a memory for the potential birthparent as well, and those are the most often remembered parts of any profile. Don?t tell her you live in a great neighborhood; tell her about summer evenings when everyone sits out on their porches and the kids race bikes up and down the street. Don?t tell her that Christmas is your favorite holiday, tell her about the time the tree fell over on the dog and he dragged it around the house until every ornament was broken.
DO be specific if you have desires about an open relationship, gender, or anything else you feel strongly about. You will hear much advice to the contrary, but I believe that if she wants an open relationship- and you don?t- then cut to the chase and you can both move on to find a good match with someone else. Your mom was right, you can?t be everything to everybody, so just be true to yourself, and most importantly, honest with her.
DO put your soul on paper. Your profile will speak for you to birthparents and others important in your adoption journey. Write with honesty and with purity, and your feelings will jump off the page.
DO make sure both partners share in the writing of the profile. Just like parenting, the adoption journey is best when shared.

Your last job, and one of the most important parts of writing your letter is to edit. As you re-read you letter think about how a birthparent would feel as she or he is reading it. Will they feel you are condescending and formal or fun and upbeat? I?ve read many letters from loving, well meaning adoptive parents that say such things as ?we believe every child deserves a loving home, and we can give that to your child? (as if the birthparents can?t? Love is the one thing they have in abundance.) or ?after years of fertility treatments that haven?t worked we felt called to adoption? (as in, adoption wasn?t our first, second, or third choice. It is dead last, but please overlook that.). Be sensitive to your audience.

Now that you have a really great letter you will need to select photos, and put it all together in a readable, engaging format. A last word of advice? Enjoy the process of writing your letter. It is seldom in our busy lives we have the opportunity to slow down and think about what makes our family special, and to take the time to put it on paper. This profile you are creating will be a special keepsake for your family, and for your child?s birthfamily for years to come.

Technorati Tags: adoption assistance, adoption, adoption help